First of all, your writing was very good, and I can really see that you got into Sam's role while writing this. The thoughts really seemed to come out of Sam's head and on the paper. You jumped right into their lives, and waste much time explaining what certain terms meant, and who was who.
However, your second and last paragraph seems to be quite jumbled and cut up. I know that is the way some books are written, and that journal entries from that book should also be this way, but then the whole entry should be like that. You could easily combine some sentences (for example: It is eerily quiet at night. I wonder whats is happening everywhere else on the island. Would have been better if it had been turned into It is eerily quite at night, and I can't help but wonder about what is happening everywhere else on the island). Also, you seemed to repeat what you just said (especially in the second paragraph). For example, ...not real but I am not really sure. The 'littluns' really think so and I am beginning to wonder so myself was really just one idea: The littluns think the monster is real, but I am not so sure. Reading everything thoroughly will easily clear these mistakes.
Your response to the entry was good, but it just needed more detail. Why was this exact time critical to the story line, and why was this character vital to the story. What kind of part does he play on the island? How did you come up with the predictions for the story?
All in all, you did a good job; you wrote a very good journal entry and you responded quite well to it.
Link to page:
http://dystopiannovellordoftheflies.blogspot.ca/2013/04/sams-journal.html
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